May 6, 2008
Cyles of Self-Destruction
I found this image in the fatosphere (thank you kateharding.net!), and I not only found it adorable (don't you just want to bite that rhino he's so cute?) but I found it completely relatable. Almost every woman I have ever met is that rhino. I was, still am in a way, that rhino.
We are told from a very early age to try to change ourselves. To make ourselves "better." That the goal in life is to not only be the most attractive mate we can possibly be, but to look like a specific kind of mate that "everyone" desires. So we become disgusted by what we see in the mirror, we devise grand plans to change ourselves for the better that includes monitoring every morsel of food that enters our mouths and berating ourselves when the number on the scale does not match our effort. We pin up "before" pictures on the fridge where we are looking our worst in an effort to discourage us from staying that hideous. Next to it, we pin up "after" pictures, usually magazine cutouts of movie stars, airbrushed and photoshopped to resemble CGI's and high end sex toys. We reward ourselves when we do good and go to sleep starving. We punish ourselves when we do bad and give into our bodies screaming for nourishment. We lose 10 pounds, celebrate, gain it back, and our self esteem sinks even lower. Our will power has failed it, our hatred towards our bodies grows, and we embark on our next attempt to become "normal" and worthy.
This image of the rhino, in my mind, is a perfect depiction of this all too common cycle of self-destruction. It somehow sums up the entire experience without a word. The unicorn is beautiful, yes. But so is the rhino.